Fill Errrr Up

Carving out time to spend with Jesus is essential. Sacrificing our own schedules and busy lives to honor the Lord is what most of us strive for and practice. In those moments away, we pour out our hearts and invite Him to fill us up. There are seasons in our lives where the word ‘time’ doesn’t even make sense, and it can be extremely difficult to manage. This summer, I have been met with some difficulties in managing my time. My heart longs to get away with Jesus, and maybe yours does too. My hope in sharing is that you will know you’re not alone.

I’m a girl who loves to talk, whether over the phone, in person, or sipping on some coffee and having quiet time with Jesus or friends. I enjoy the organic flow of conversations and just being present. Conversations and quality time fill up my love tank.

At the ripe age of 37, I now realize that interruptions can leave me feeling defeated. See, I am a mom of 3 kiddos and understand that it’s natural for children to interrupt conversations or agendas. Like me, if you have children, you do your best to teach manners and respect. Some of us know those interruptions, but interruptions can come in different forms aside from talking or “butting in.”

As a working mom and teacher, I get the privilege of being at home with my children for the summer. I have to add that this summer is a little different because I am healing from a recent surgery. I can manage to do a lot of the small tasks around the house and cuddle and have fun with my kids. But what has been hard for me is the change in our routine; my husband’s extremely tough work schedule, a toddler who is all of a sudden allergic to sleep, and most frustrating is being so worn out, not being able to spend solid one-on-one time with Jesus. What I like to call “Jesus Dates.” It never seems to fail that I have this expectation that Jesus and I will bond; I will grow and be saturated with so much wisdom and change from reading His Word and sitting in His presence. Of course, I am off for the summer; I have loads of extra time to experience all He has!

And here I was, the beginning of summer, ready for my Jesus date routines to ensue, only to be met by my adorable toddler, “Mom, help me in the bathroom. Mommy, sissy is taking my play-doh. Mom, let’s go to the park.” One particular morning, feeling very optimistic while reading my YouVersion Bible app, one of the kids jumped on the couch, and my hot coffee spilled on my phone. Frantically cleaning up the mess, my mind was telling me, “Velvette, this isn’t good enough, you trying to juggle it all, it’s not quiet enough, it’s not honoring Him enough, other moms are doing it all, just stop, there are too many interruptions.”

So for a few sad days beginning my summer vacation, I sat on the couch with a full cup of coffee, no time for Jesus dates (because it wasn’t perfectly laid out in my nook, and I’d hate to be interrupted), and ended the days feeling empty. On one of those spirit-depleted late nights, laying on my toddler’s bedroom floor trying to sleep train her, God spoke to my heart, “Velvette, I am here; I see it all. You can spend time with me just like this; taking breaks to tend to your babies is okay. I see you want to honor our time together. I’m here. Just sit with me. Let me fill you up.” So that following day, I grabbed my Bible and journal and a good cup of blonde coffee and soaked in lots of interrupted time with Jesus and my babies. Freedom in the Lord is a sweet gift!

John 4:13-14 “Jesus answered and said to her, “Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.””

In John 4 (my ABSOLUTE favorite chapter in the Bible), Jesus met a Samaritan woman at a well while she was doing her everyday task of collecting water. He told her many things about her life and that he was the Messiah. This was the longest conversation with a woman recorded in scripture. How precious is that? I bet she wasn’t expecting the Messiah to meet with her that day, just like I wasn’t expecting him to meet with me that night on my baby girls’ bedroom floor. She allowed Him in, “interrupting her schedule,” and became an influential evangelist. Like Jesus tells her, I want you to know that the Lord fills us. Our expectations, lack, or “holiness” will always leave us empty. Jesus fills us. Meet with Him in your everyday life, and ….you will never need coffee again. No just kidding, 😉 but you will be filled with growth, the best conversations, and perfect love.